September 14, at 8: This was exactly what this morning needed. Marketers, start developing patented anal stretchers in 5, 4…. Yes, apparently your labia loses color as you get older. We somehow gots-to-talking about asshole bleaching, like you do, and from there I asked Chris if he'd heard of the new vaginal craze, vajazzling.
bitches gotta eat
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We somehow gots-to-talking about asshole bleaching, like you do, and from there I asked Chris if he'd heard of the new vaginal craze, vajazzling. For those of you not in the know, Vajazzling is a new trend fronted by Jennifer Love Hewitt because Lord knows girlfriend's gotta keep her name relevant somehow where a spa technician waxes your vagina and adheres jewels in various patterns to spice up your sex life.
Personally, I don't get the appeal of vajazzling. Not only do I not want my vagina to look like a year-old Asian girl's cell phone, I can't imagine having Krazy Glue applied to my freshly waxed vagina. If that's not a recipe for ingrown hairs and rug rash, I really don't know what is. But according to Chris, vajazzling is so early Apparently it's all about vaginal dying.
Apparently women get self-conscious about the color of their labia, so they sell this dye online to make it pink again. We're going to dye your vagina and blog about it, aren't we? Before we go any further with this, I'd like to issue an official statement: The color of my vagina is just fine, a- thank you.
Truthfully before this conversation, I'd never really given much thought about its color at all. Christ, there are only so many hours in the day I mean, I suppose we've all seen porn with lady bits that have seen better days, so I guess I buy that.
I just have a hard time accepting that guys give a shit how pink your puss is. I mean, you made it in there, so Is there really a need to break out a Pantone swatch and see how I measure up? Besides, who's fuckin' with the lights on? That's for porn stars and atheists. And if you're going down on a girl, I can't help but think you knew what you were getting yourself into.
I believe Helena said it best tonight when she said, "Going down on a girl is like going to North Korea. Really Helena, how is that? I think we'd all love to hear the end of this one.
But then you land and you're like, 'Well shit, now I'm stuck in a fucking dictatorship. No, I do not. But I do know that I now aspire to be in a production of The Vagina Monologues where I recite slam poetry about my vagina, including the line: The product comes in four colors: Marilyn; Bettie; Ginger and Audrey, ranging from lightest to darkest, respectively.
Of course on the day Chris and I went to order, they only had Audrey. They only have Audrey. So it's made for black women and I'm the palest person on the planet. I'm not dying my vagina dark maroon. It's not like anyone's going to see it.
In the end, I decided to put my vagina down and wait until a lighter shade came back in stock. We conducted the Investigation a few weeks ago when I was in Philly working on business stuff with Chris. And you know what? I'd like to think we're doing something right when "dying Meg's vagina" is an important part of our Weekend of Productivity. The bottom of the tin bears the slogan: Chris has feelings about the ingredients. He would like to make you aware of the following: Iron Oxide is what makes Mars red.
Apparently the only thing Chris retained from 9th grade Chemistry is that manganese turns a beautiful color when mixed with water, or quote, "something. I don't really remember, but it was pretty. The more you know. It has chamomile to gently lull your snizz to sleep. It's just very Colonel Sanders. When Chris was a wee little Chrislet in middle school , the rumor was that yellow 5 shrank your balls.
Much to Chris' dismay, this rumor prevented him from drinking his favorite Surge soft drink because he was afraid the other kids would make fun of him for his little balls.
This story is consistently never not the funniest thing I've ever heard. Because I have this glorious mental image of baby Chrislet standing in front of a Fruitopia vending machine, with his head hung in disappointment and both hands covering his groin. Just makes you want to get a Delorean and gun it to 88, doesn't it? It has myrrh, as in gold, frankincense and. And pepper to taste? Variations of color when applied, will depend on many factors including your current natural color, ethnicity, body PH, bathing frequency etc.
One application will usually last 72 plus hours. You may reapply the color as needed. This is an Adult Novelty Cosmetic product and its use is to promote beauty of a woman's genital area by restoring natural color. To prevent dye from touching counter surface, place product on a washcloth or tissue. Take the Cooter Dye out of the case and crack open two Yuenglings. If you're running low on paper towels, use the one you drained your bacon on this morning. Put a little "shake" of the Powder Dye in the Mixing Dish; place cap back on bottle.
Be sure to never get any moisture in the Powder Dye Bottle. Put a little "shake" of the Powder Dye onto your moistened fingertip and apply it directly to your tongue.
This raises the following two questions: Does this make your pussy explode with eight delicious fruit flavors? Much like Crystal Lite? We honestly didn't think to have Chris go down on Meg to see. Although, as Chris just said, "If there's two people who could have businesslike oral sex, I think it would be us during a 2 Birds Investigation. I'm sorry to break the fourth wall, but it's important to me that you know Chris and I are currently on the phone writing this and he's significantly drunker than I thought he was when this conversation began.
He just cackled for a solid 20 seconds and squeaked: It's not like I'm getting union wages down here! One fellow who contributed a review just loved it. All in all, my philosophy of never buying anything just because someone wants to sell it to me will keep me from the temptation of ordering My New Pink Button. We both enjoyed ourselves as I waxed her squack and the dye really brought out the original finish.
But anyway, I've been inside my wife all week and it's been a great ride. Thanks for the scoop Miss C. Just in time for Valentine's day too.
Nothing like a little romance. Well, that's all well and good, but what can a MAN do when he wants to restore the youthful appearance to HIS privates? Wait, don't answer that. Originally when I saw this featured on another site my only thought was "Wtf? I have to say that I have never personally payed that much attention to hooha color my own or other womens. Frankly for me personally it's absurd to even worry about it and speaking from past experience if it another womans I was to busy Which brings up the question who's partner is paying that much attention to color and not all the fun things to do?!?
Somebody's New Pink Button. Posted by Miss Cellania. If you liked this story, you might also like Thanks for the laugh Miss C. I do love the transparency comment. The greatest pop culture blog on the planet. Heather Where are they now? Serial Killers another true fact on Jeffry Dahlmer, sick puppy he is..
Browse my new pink button pictures, photos, images, GIFs, and videos on Photobucket. Hairdressers are located in most – if not all – towns and cities around the world. Probably one of the longest going businesses in the world (razors have been found as far back as the Bronze Age – BC), and is even mentioned in the bible. Anyways, as you can see, My New Pink Button comes in this nifty little tin can, kind of like a fancy candle or surfboard wax. Only it’s not wax, it’s labia dye.